The old policy: Don't make New Year's resolutions.
The new policy: New Year's resolutions are OK as long as you make them for someone else.
Bruce Pearl: Sit on the back row at all high school basketball games.
Phillip Fulmer: Make the punishment fit the crime, not the depth chart.
Barry Bonds: Come clean.
Chris Lofton: Keep shooting.
Al Davis: Just retire, baby.
Ace Miller: Keep on keepin' on.
Donald Trump: Wear a hat in public.
Sylvester Stallone: Retire Rocky Balboa permanently.
Mark McGwire: See "Barry Bonds."
Dane Bradshaw: Keep hustling.
George Steinbrenner: Sign a pitcher under 35.
Dave Hooker: Not cheat at fantasy football.
Rod Delmonico: Find a home run hitter. Check that. Find two.
Alabama athletic director Mal Moore: Not hire anyone named Mike.
Mike Hamilton: Keep Bruce Pearl happy.
Phil Mickelson: Remember how I won the Masters.
Vince Young: Keep running.
Yankees fans: Give A-Rod a break.
Sammy Sosa: See "Mark McGwire."
Terrell Owens: Read the section of Greek mythology on Narcissus.
Division I-A football: Settle it on the field.
Michael Vick: Keep my fingers to myself.
"Pacman" Jones: Keep my saliva to myself.
Albert Haynesworth: Keep my feet to myself.
Pat Summitt: Write a manual for coaches covering all aspects of the job: teaching, strategy, recruiting, player discipline, media and public relations.
Phoenix Suns: Not slow down.
Bud Selig: Never make a decision without asking myself, "What would Bart have done?"
Brett Favre: See "Al Davis."
Chicago Cubs: Keep spending.
Kenny Rogers: Wash my hands before pitching.
Trooper Taylor: Keep talking.
Tennessee Titans: Draft a wide receiver.
Bobby Knight: Read the chapters in Pat Summitt's coaching manual on media and public relations.
Heisman voters: Give the SEC a chance.
David Cutcliffe: Save the quarterback draws for Jonathan Crompton.
College basketball programs in need of a head coach: Call Tony Jones.
Tim Tebow: Throw more jump passes.
Every wide receiver in the NFL: Copy LaDainian Tomlinson's post-touchdown routine.
Every wide receiver in the NFL who doesn't play for Green Bay: Not try the Lambeau Leap.
My dog, Chris: Distinguish trespassers from houseguests.
Tennessee basketball fans: Keep Ray Mears in our prayers.
Tennessee's signing class for 2012
Phillip Fulmer through the years
Memorable moments in Pat Summitt's…
Scripps Interactive Newspapers Group
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