"Straight out the casket, rising up."

- House of Pain

Is it just me or has Erik Ainge already gone through the ups and downs of a fifth-year senior?

You know the main points. Thrown into the SEC fire as a true freshman. Beat out Brent Schaeffer with an icy, cool performance versus Florida. Led the Vols to road wins at Georgia and Ole Miss.

He was even compared by one ESPN analyst to a young John Elway. ("Hello, Horse, allow me to put the cart before you.")

Then Schaeffer resurfaced against South Carolina and questions about Ainge arose. Next came the season-ending injury against Notre Dame.

The injury and a shuffling at the quarterback position seemed to destroy Ainge's confidence in 2005. He suffered through one of the worst seasons that a Vol signal-caller has ever had to endure.

As recently as 5:29 p.m. last Saturday, many wondered if Jonathan Crompton might not be the best choice for Big Orange QB duties in 2006.

That's when the 2004 Erik Ainge returned. He answered his many critics with his best performance to date. Returned offensive coordinator David Cutcliffe has reaped much of the praise for the quarterback's reclamation, and rightfully so.

But with at least 11 more games to play this year plus his senior season next year, just how many more ups and downs might Ainge face? His 2 1/2 year stay on UT's campus has already had more bizarre twists than an afternoon soap opera.

Will his legacy be of perseverance or of unfulfilled potential? Of overcoming the odds or of inconsistency?

The talent is there, but can Ainge continue to harness it?

If his career so far is any indication, the story of Erik Ainge is likely to wind up being the most fascinating personal saga in the history of Volunteer football.

"Run run run run, run run run away."

— Talking Heads

I couldn't help but notice that Ainge's former quarterbacking mate, Schaeffer, was named "player of the game" following Ole Miss' win over Memphis on Sunday.

He may be dynamic. He may be exciting. And he may develop into a solid Division 1 passer.

But 97 yards passing, while it might beat Memphis, won't beat many SEC teams.

"What does it matter if fat cat keeps getting fatter?"

— Squirrel Nut Zippers

A new study shows that 65 percent of Americans are overweight. One in four is considered to be obese.

How bad is that? It's been estimated that airlines need to burn up $275 million worth of extra fuel each year, just to get off the ground and carry our tubby behinds.

Overweight, unhealthy as it is, is the new norm in our country. So why do so many people continue to talk about fluctuations in Phillip Fulmer's weight?

I was amused to hear this past week, following Tennessee's whoopin' of California, two fans reference Fulmer's weight loss since last season. In their minds, shedding a couple of pounds led directly to the season-opening win.

So that's been the ticket all along? Man, if he'd just dropped 10 pounds a few years ago, think of how successful he might have been. Maybe a 90 percent winning percentage? Sure, let's say a percentage point per pound.

And if being svelte is the key to quality coaching, somebody get John Chavis a ThighMaster. His size has clearly kept him from getting the most out of his players, too, right?

Please. Looks don't have a thing to do with being a quality coach. Nor does the speed of one's metabolism or their workout regimen.

Certain detractors of Coach Fulmer have long muttered: "How can his team be disciplined if he's not disciplined enough to keep himself in shape?"

Ridiculous. That's not been a big (get it, "big") problem for Bill Parcells. Or John Madden, for that matter. (That's three Super Bowl rings if you're counting.)

Charlie Weis, America's flavor-of-the-month coach isn't exactly small, either.

I find all of this talk to be a little silly and a lot obnoxious.

Isn't the weight stereotype the same as saying, "no short man can coach?" Or no bald man? No one with a limp or a lisp? No one with this color hair? Or that color skin?

From former national championship coach Lou Holtz to Kansas' current 300-plus pound coach Mark Mangino, skinny or fat shouldn't matter. The scales for a coach need to weigh wins and losses, not pounds.

These men are football coaches, not competitors on "America's Next Top Model."

John Pennington hosts The Hall's Salvage Sports Source on Sunday at 11 a.m. on WATE. He also writes a blog at govolsxtra.com.