The day before Christmas, I finally completed my gift list. And all it cost me was time.
Pittsburgh - A major league baseball franchise.
Detroit - A pro football franchise.
Andy Kennedy - Limo service for road games.
Lady Vols - More 3s
Pat Summitt - Raccoon radar for the patio.
UT donors - An instructional guide for paw prints.
Marisa Miller - A press-row seat at Thompson-Boling Arena.
Monte Kiffin - A young Derrick Brooks with college eligibility.
Tony Romo - A timeout from T.O.
Texas A&M - Tommy Tuberville.
Clemson - John Chavis.
UCF - Phillip Fulmer.
CFL - The Lions.
Brandon Warren - The ball.
Lane Kiffin - Swamp repellent.
Roger Clemens - Nothing. He already has more than he deserves.
Gentleman Vols - More 3s.
Auburn - A Bobby Lowder bankruptcy
Mike D'Antoni - A Stephon Marbury punching bag.
Mark Richt - An Urban Meyer stare.
Gene Chizik - Mercy.
Eric Berry - A Heisman campaign.
Les Miles - More Nick Saban recruits.
Houston Nutt - More Ed Orgeron recruits.
Travis Henry - A good lawyer.
Charlie Weis - Lower academic standards.
Tom Brady - A successful comeback.
Chamique Holdsclaw - A successful comeback.
Bruce Pearl - A longer season.
Al Davis - A lucid moment.
Dave Hooker - A restrictor plate.
Tim Tebow - A Heisman Trophy re-vote after the national championship game.
WNBA - A government bailout.
Sylvester Croom - Another chance.
Bob & Bert: A Final Four broadcast.
Drew Edwards - Good times.
Mike Keith - A Super Bowl broadcast.
Daniel Lincoln - More 3s.
UT ushers - Free food.
Ed Orgeron - A Red Bull commercial.
College football - Tim Tebow's senior season.
Valerie Hyams - A tea party.
O.J. Simpson - What he deserves.
Phoenix Suns - Anti-aging cream.
Jack Bauer - More ammo, fewer bureaucrats.
Arena Football League - See "WNBA."
Alex Rodriguez - A Reggie Jackson October.
Mike Griffith - A renter.
Todd Raleigh - A full-time publicist.
Mike Strange - Tech support.
Rick Neuheisel - See "Charlie Weis."
Tiger Woods - A knee that won't buckle and a rival that won't crumble.
Jonathan Crompton - A deep threat.
Litton's - A John Adams discount on grilled shrimp.
Michael Vick - A short leash.
Major League Baseball - A mild November.
Leslie Hyams - A Spanish accent.
Christian Lundy - Back-to-back Fantasy League championships.
The Big 12 - Defense.
The SEC - Offense.
Vanderbilt - Fans.
"24" - An eighth season.
Peyton Newman - A year without surgery.
Our troops - Our support.
Sports editor John Adams may be reached at 865-342-6284 or adamsj@knoxnews.com.
UT's new $45 million football…
Images from Larry Murphy's book on…
Tennessee 69, South Carolina 57 men's…
Scripps Interactive Newspapers Group
Comments » 70
lomas98 writes:
govolsxtra-no more Adams columns
Lane Kiffin-no losses so Adams can't bash him
eefor10c writes:
The top of my gift list---adams anywhere but in Knoxville
Orangeblood13 writes:
KNS - a sport editor worth a phooey
thurs2000#245193 writes:
John Adams, A ticket to anywhere, one way.
SanFran1966 writes:
adams - find that old purple shirt
sports animal "talent"- a source
chip cain - a clue
jp prince - a jumper
pat head - an all-american (can;t win with average talent)
mickey dearstone - jim rome's number so he can get CLKs #
CrankE writes:
Tuscaloosa or Gainesville - John Adams.
cainclifton23 writes:
uhm... cool article?
i guess.
and i think its BS that UGA and UF don't have to play at eachothers stadium. Thats unfair to the rest of the SEC
Kiffin_fan writes:
The Big 12 - Defense.
The SEC - Offense.
backwards
Kiffin_fan writes:
No they were skeered... lol
Kiffin_fan writes:
The way I see it, and i'm not a\expert.... We have a lot to look forward too instead of A lot to look back on... Go Vols!!!!!
teedub writes:
Pretty funny.
A Bob & Bert final 4 would be sweet!! So would listening to Mike Keith do the Super Bowl.
Ed Orgeron sooooo needs a red bull commercial.
Kiffin_fan writes:
lol or an Orange Bull one at that ...
bmaples writes:
-- An Adams column without knee-jerk bashing
-- Dual Final Fours for Big Orange teams ... or even dual Elite Eights!
-- Free online streaming of all UT bball games ... men's AND women's
annemarie writes:
...and to all, a good night. :)
DroopyDrawers writes:
I will buy!
pdhuff#552644 writes:
On your game, I see KV.
Proud moment today you would have enjoyed when owner Bob from Sports 1 gifts/collectibles presented a special game day shirt to ich and ol' TJ.
Vols 2009 - Pound the Fritter.
Even Bama shoppers had to ask the meaning of the honor.
Tis the season....
govols87 writes:
KNS - Source...that is so true
Volnbama writes:
(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
alwaysorange81 writes:
Tim Tebow senior year?????? Tim Tebow is really really good and doesnt play for UT. So he needs to go pro and take percy harvin with him. College football needs a dominant UT program. Why? Cause im a fan thats why. GoVols.
BTW absolutely #1 bromance. Adams hearts Tebow. They can have little Adows or Tebams. I like Tebams better.
pdhuff#552644 writes:
Yep, great guy and was doing a land-office business today. Big Vol insider.
Lots of Bama stuff going out the door. Recorded the presentation for posterity.
TJ and frau came thru on their way to visit his sainted mother. A few Killian's met their demise.
I even tried to get him to toast to ol' injured bama987, but he muttered something about SOB was as low as he would go.
gohawks1 writes:
John Adams - a life sized, inflatable Tim Tebow doll.
CoverOrange writes:
UT donors - An instructional guide for paw prints.
For what? Identify them? Find them? Make them?
Oh, why do I bother trying to make sense of a JA article?
Southpaw_Vol writes:
Will West - His own show 12-3
Me - Heather Harrington
Eric Berry - The 2009 Heisman. Forget any campaign.
Lane Kiffin - A 13-0 first season and a shot at the NC. (1 uping Satan)
Bert Bertelkamp - Start doing football games (I'd love to hear "MONEY!" everytime Berry intercepted a pass)
Bama Fans - A slap back to reality by Lane Kiffin come Oct 09
Tim Tebow - Eric Berry pajamas and a new pair of jorts
Urban Meyer - The ND job in 2010
Charlie Weiss - A lifetime supply of NutriSystem
Last but not least...
To ALL VOLS Fans - A 2009 SEC Football Championship! (and a NC shot)
NoogaVol55 writes:
NoogaVol55....a bottle of Makers Mark
TommyJack.....a bottle of Makers Mark
Ctownvol......a bottle of Makers Mark
Expat.........a bottle of Makers Mark
Navolorange...a bottle of Makers Mark
Pdhuff........a bottle of Makers Mark
The rest of my Volunteer Brethern......a bottle of Makers Mark
HireSanders and DCFlorida......a life!!!
pdhuff#552644 writes:
True Nooga55, everything in a liquor store is downhill from Maker's Mark.
Big Fletch says Woodford Reserve is a tad better but I can't pay that $100.00+.
Merry Christmas.
NoogaVol55 writes:
Thank you sir...I think I will take a bottle of Makers Mark...hahaha...I know, it is Kentucky whiskey, but my goodness, it goes down like water. Merry Christmas to all!!! Ole Kiffin will take us to the promise land fellas, lets give him time and we will all be happy.
NoogaVol55 writes:
Awesome Expat...
That was pretty awesome. All of us my hold differnet opinions, or God forbid, some of us may be UF or Bama fans...but we are all humans. Merry Christmas to all, and I for got a few earlier
Shoalcreekvol....a bottle of Makers Mark
RichRollin....a bottle of Makers Mark
UTfan4Life....a bottle of Makers Mark
Collierville Vol...a bottle of Makers Mark..
BillsBrother writes:
Wonderful link, Expat. Thanks for sharing.
I wish you safe travels.
LargeOrange writes:
Adams, obviously you are out of material since it would be lame to continue to bash Fulmer since he is gone now, kind of like picking on John McCain, irrelevant at this point. You are once again showing your lack of talent and creativity, hopefully you can hang on to your 2nd place finish in the state of Tennessee sport-writer title, but I doubt it. Good luck with that. I did get almost half way through your list before I skipped to the end of the comments to tell you what I think of your drivel. Merry Christmas to all, JA move back to LSU, that would be my Christmas wish.
shoalcreekvol writes:
Well I guess that is the only plausible way Crompton can one day be called a "pro".
Oh, wait, you wrote deep THREAT...
shoalcreekvol writes:
Accepted. Cheers!
Merry Christmas, Nooga.
samjrr writes:
Merrey Christmas. Great Christmas List!!!
newtonrail writes:
I can't disagree with many of Adams comments(wishes) for once except Roger Clemens. Actually I could put a lot of "Steroid Era" Players in this category. The " We are Better than god" Press wants them all kept out of HOF. I disagree, even if they are somewhat guilty. The occasions Clemens allegedly used steroids could be counted on one hand. The remaining W's, K's, etc. he has would be more than enough to get him in HOF. I even believe Barry deserves to go in. No ones proved anything on him.
samjrr writes:
God bless you and yours.
daschmit#297884 writes:
Alas, I fear that resolution of your first wish may be beyond the capability of almighty God. The man possesses but one arrow in his journalistic quiver, an endless supply of sarcasm.
gnm53108 writes:
Agree.
Have a safe trip Expat.
Merry Christmas to all and to all something cold and frost-brewed.
gnm53108 writes:
What BolivarBob said.
With a whole lot of #3.First it was Fulmer,then Tuberville had his streak against the mullet boys.
I think it's Kiffin's turn.
Volfan615 writes:
That would be a dream come true
pms151 writes:
KNS.. A lesson in first amendment rights. Censorship of comments is way out of bounds. phooey was originally written cr@p for instance.
Govolsxtra ..A ban on illiterate posters.
pdhuff#552644 writes:
All are welcome.
Best wishes for a safe Christmas and Holiday season.
May the pig fly true and travel well with the Orange next fall.
jhmclain#224991 writes:
"Christian Lundy - Back-to-back Fantasy League championships."
Anyone know what this one is about? I assume Christian is the son of Cindy and Gary Lundy (KNS sports writer who passed away a few years ago).
pdhuff#552644 writes:
Logan's Roadhouse was honored to have TJ's pile of bones from the departed wings. Not to mention a few loaded potato skins.
He never dwelt too long on the positive side of mullet nation.
Merry Christmas and a prosperous 2009.
May the Vol's wagon be pulled from the ditch.
suPEARLman writes:
Daniel Lincoln - More 3s.
Amen.
kaplan#211944 writes:
Christian is the son of Gary Lundy.
SemperVol writes:
Expat,
Wonderful link. Wishing you safe travels and a wonderful Holiday Season. Merry CHRISTMAS!!!!
(Matthew 1:18-24... 'tis the reason)
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?...
bhorton#213253 writes:
Who is Peyton Newman?
tnbigg writes:
Merry Christmas to all...well...if you are a Vol...no...wait...maybe if you aren't one too...unless you get coal or switches...you'll know who you are...
tnbigg writes:
http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com...
tnbigg writes:
Merry Christmas Coach Kiffin and staff:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIfRBF...
tnbigg writes:
Merry Christmas Vols...bring it on coach...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYSeKm...
Share your thoughts
Comments are the sole responsibility of the person posting them. You agree not to post comments that are off topic, defamatory, obscene, abusive, threatening or an invasion of privacy. Violators may be banned. Click here for our full user agreement.