With only seven more days remaining in 2008, it's time to look ahead to 2009.
January
- Penn State's Joe Paterno coaches the Rose Bowl game from pool-side lounge chair at Pasadena hotel.
- Oklahoma quarterback Sam Bradford injures his right hand while throwing in the direction of Urban Meyer's stare.
- In cost-cutting move, NASCAR announces it will shorten races and downsize cars.
- PETA seeks a restraining order that would prevent Lady Vols basketball coach Pat Summitt from coming within 100 yards of raccoons.
- UT announces that super-model Marisa Miller will attend the UT-Gonzaga game Jan. 7 and the UT-Vanderbilt game Feb. 14.
- Tennessee-Gonzaga tip-off delayed for 30 minutes after Miller stops traffic.
February
- Plaxico Burress and Dick Cheney accidentally shoot each other during Super Bowl post-game party.
- Jimmie Johnson drives antique Chevy Vega to victory in Daytona 450.
- Lady Vols basketball coach Pat Summitt warms up for March Madness by wrestling a rogue bear into submission following dinner on her deck.
- Tiger Woods reinjures knee and postpones comeback to mid-May.
- UT coach Bruce Pearl's press conference after victory over Vanderbilt delayed for 30 minutes while local media interview super-model Marisa Miller.
- Former UT football coach Phillip Fulmer changes his mind and accepts job as special assistant to university president John Petersen.
March
- Augusta National reschedules the 2009 Masters from the second week in April to mid-May.
- Pat Summitt cuts short tournament selection party to capture Bigfoot in the woods behind her home.
- Dominican Republic star Alex Rodriguez strikes out four times in the World Baseball Classic, but gets to third base with Madonna.
- Two Florida freshmen suffer head injuries from coach Urban Meyer's stare during spring practice.
- UT president John Petersen takes sabbatical.
April
- ESPN survey reveals that more Americans can identify Verne Troyer than the world heavyweight boxing champion.
- News Sentinel sportswriter Mike Griffith named Knoxville's "most eligible bachelor who can't get a VIP card to Ray's."
- New York Yankees pitcher C.C. Sabathia announces he will no longer go by his initials, but his first and middle names, "Cha Ching."
- Phillip Fulmer appointed interim UT president while president John Petersen is on sabbatical.
May
- UT football coach Lane Kiffin's wife, Layla, stops traffic at the SEC spring meetings in Destin, Fla.
- Athletic director Joan Cronan announces that Lady Vols will play a series of exhibition basketball games in Scotland in August.
- Despite playing the final nine holes on crutches, Tiger Woods wins Masters by two strokes.
- UT reports record month for contributions.
June
- Juan Pablo Montoya pulls away from field in his Dodge Hornet to win the Pocono 360.
- Bruce Pearl takes media friendliness to a new level by opening his new home to unemployed sportswriters.
- Devil Rays sweep three-game series from Yankees.
- John Petersen cuts short sabbatical and returns to his job as university president.
July
- The Tennessee Sportswriters Association passes resolution supporting UT's tradition of allowing the head football coach's wife to attend all postgame press conferences.
- ESPN begins minute-by-minute countdown until LeBron James becomes a free agent July 1, 2010.
- Bruce Pearl adds two wings to his home to accommodate growing household.
- Yankees buy Devil Rays.
- News Sentinel sports editor John Adams fails to place in TSWA column-writing contest.
- UT reports a drastic decline in contributions.
August
- The TSWA passes resolution encouraging UT to have football coach's wife attend the weekly Tuesday press conference.
- Holly Warlick temporarily assumes head-coaching duties on Lady Vols exhibition tour of Scotland while Pat Summitt tracks the Loch Ness Monster.
- News Sentinel fires sports editor John Adams.
- John Petersen "resigns" as UT president.
September
- Joe Paterno coaches Penn State's season opener from his living room recliner.
- UT bans Thompson-Boling Arena ushers from eating while on the job.
- UT safety Eric Berry intercepts the pregame coin toss against Western Kentucky.
- Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens sports new tattoo for season opener: a broken heart with the inscription, "Tony likes Jason more."
- Melinda Adams files for divorce from former News Sentinel sports editor John Adams.
- Phillip Fulmer hired as UT president.
October
- Former News Sentinel sports editor John Adams opens "Johnny's Gym," an upscale men's health club, which features a 20 percent discount for divorced men who have been dumped by younger women.
- Oklahoma attempts first punt of 2009 season.
- Detroit Lions score first touchdown of 2009 season.
- UT suspends News Sentinel sportswriter Dave Hooker from covering sporting events for a week after he's caught sneaking a press-room cookie to a Thompson-Boling Arena usher.
- Super-booster John "Thunder" Thornton takes out a full page ad in the New Sentinel to call for the firing of football coach Lane Kiffin and athletic director Mike Hamilton after a four-touchdown loss to Alabama.
- Jim Haslam takes out a two-page ad in the News Sentinel to explain the dos and don'ts of a super booster.
November
- News Sentinel reports increase in advertising revenue for October.
- Rookie driver Verne Troyer laps the field in his Mini Cooper to win the Checker Auto Parts 75. Notre Dame fires Charlie Weis after 5-7 season.
- Penn State coach Joe Paterno announces he will coach Rose Bowl from Palm Springs resort.
December
- Dave Clawson hired as Notre Dame's coach after leading Bowling Green to 5-7 season.
- Florida State urges NCAA to require head coaches to be at the venue of their event to get credit for victories.
- Music City Bowl moved to Vanderbilt Stadium, so fans of bowl-bound Commodores won't have to travel as far.
- O.J. Simpson writes a book describing how he would have caught and killed his ex-wife's killers if he weren't in prison.
Sports editor John Adams may be reached at 865-342-6284 or adamsj@knoxnews.com.
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Comments » 70
tnbigg writes:
Very funny...NOT...
tnbigg writes:
But Merry Christmas regardless!
tnbigg writes:
By the way KNS...a bit conflicting with the "Knoxville MOMs" info flashing on one screen and a "Mouses's Ear" flashing on the next...
BigOrangeVol writes:
KNS, PLEEEEEEEEEEASE don't wait until next August!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ctownvol writes:
August sounds good to me... except for Coach Summit looking for Nessie.
OrangePower11 writes:
Hey Johnny Boy....They are called the RAYS, have been for a good year now...Hello, I'm sports outside of Baton Rouge and Gainesville, have we met?
jason.taylor#629315 writes:
Waste of space article....WHY BOTHER??? Except Firing Adams...that's a good idea!
TnTx13 writes:
Thanks, John! I always look forward to your New Year's prediction column, and this one was excellent , as always! Some people just can't appreciate humor....
Merry Christmas!
BigOrangeVol writes:
Hilarious; are you kidding? It would be a gift from God!
samjrr writes:
Good job Adams. Very funny.
LiveFaith writes:
Adams lays yet another egg, but this time he does not label the link as his article. Otherwise I would not read them.
Firing Fulmer may have been on time, but Phil has more manhood in his pinky than this loser. Merry Christmas.
khelton657 writes:
Childish.
mempuss writes:
Marissa Miller!!!!!
dc_4_ut writes:
"Plaxico Burress and Dick Cheney accidentally shoot each other during Super Bowl post-game party."
That's comedy!
CoachNeyland writes:
Somebody has a serious man-crush on Urban Meyer's stare.
utvols007 writes:
is this marisa miller thing an inside joke or something?
mlbrown5454 writes:
you owe me 2 minutes of my life back.
VolinCalif writes:
John that is no way to tease those who dislike you. The truth is you are an Icon in sports writing, wheither one likes you or notis not important. The subjects you write about and the view you present is what your job is all about. KNS has a good staff just read the other papers around the country. Thanks for your efforts in the past and looking forward to new one in the comming years.
TheVolMan writes:
It figures some low-IQ's here are still bitter that JA was right and their boy Phil is out due to under-performing. Fatty is gone - John was right - keep reading his articles and raise your IQ. LOL...
jesseejames57 writes:
John's a pretty good fellow who keeps everybody lined out and fried out. Keep up the good work Uncle John. Now pay me my five dollars!
pms151 writes:
5th grade humor. Fitting for this audience.
gnm53108 writes:
Back at cha Bob.
And have a happy new year Big Orange Nation.
pdhuff#552644 writes:
Average punning, at best.
Good read at Tennessean.com/article/20081225/Sports0601/912250337 on senior Kiffin.
Merry Christmas, all.
khelton657 writes:
This raised your IQ.......?
thebrainofj writes:
Comedy 1, Adams 0
writer#358485 writes:
As one writer to another John, decent humor. It also was quite revealing. Now I know why you hated and undercut Fulmer. The analogy of about Fulmer replacing Peterson reveals you as a Sad Sack Johnny believer. Drinking buddies??? If so, it's very sad, the bottle has ruined many careers.
I just hope you and others bitter over Johnny's self-destruction haven't put us on a Nebraska merry-go-round. I'm pulling for Kiffin and the Vols--always have, always will. But you and the never-give-up Johnny crowd engineered the departure of a Hall-of-Famer with one of the best all-time records in college football for a replacement who still has a lot to prove.
Good luck to us all. I hope it was an improvement, but a lot of evidence is still very much out. Every team has down years, you just jumped up and down on someone who had a couple of bad years in a long highly successful career. Let's hope we haven't set ourselves up for a whole string of down years. Go Kiffin! Go Vols!
writer#358485 writes:
I was being generous on the humor. "Decent" is not exactly high praise.:-)
writer#358485 writes:
BolivarBob:
That link gave me a 404 error. However, while I was there I did read a good story on Monte Kiffin. I'm not being negative, I really like what I'm seeing so far. On paper, this should be an excellent coaching staff. The proof will come on Saturday afternoons (well, it used to be Saturday afternoons, now with TV dominating everything, it can be any time!).
The prospects look good, I'm hyped for next September! But I'm also realistic enough to know that in college football things rarely change overnight. Maybe this will be another exception like Saban at Alabama or Meyer at Florida. Let's hope so! I still think Fulmer/Clawson would have taken us back to the top eventually, but patience seems to no longer be a virtue in today's world. With too many people getting their lives from TV today, it's "What have you done for me in the last 15 minutes?"
MidTennVol writes:
Great stuff, John. Merry Christmas.
writer#358485 writes:
I believe whoever is scanning these posts at the KNS before allowing them to be posted must be doing double-duty--doing something else until several come in and then posting them in batches. It makes it a little hard to carry on a cogent conversation!
Vol_in_Mich writes:
Merry Christmas John & all Vol fans where ever you are.
Go VOLS!!!
writer#358485 writes:
I'll vote for that, Bob. We'll see. Just have to suffer through the baseball season to see!
HtownVol writes:
Why the heck is this guy here? Bama by 4 Td's? That clearly shows who this guy is for.That firing needs to me in Jan, 08. Go grow a dammm Bama waterfall on the back of your head. This is a UT site, not a site to promote Bama. 4 td's, what the F? Do you just nhate UT? Did you know it was only 2 Td's on our worst year in 4ever? So, y would it be 4 Td's when we get better coaching? I used to wonder why people on here didnt like you. Now I dont knowY the F you have a job here.
HtownVol writes:
Look you made me so damm mad that I can't even spell.
FIRE ADAMS NOW!!!!
writer#358485 writes:
I'll check it out. I just have to slow down all my mental systems to watch baseball. I like football where something is happening all the time between the commercials. Baseball can be interesting, but it's so slllllooooowwwww. :-)
writer#358485 writes:
By the way, Bob, do you know any Siberian Husky breeders in Bolivar? I bought a dog there once, but it's been so many years ago (at least 40) that I'm sure the folks I bought her from are gone. They were in their 50s or so back then. But I sure did get a good dog! She's gone too, of course, but it is a very fond memory. I drove down from Clarksville to get the dog. Leika was her name. I'm just getting too old--old memories come back quicker than whatever happened yesterday! But at least I remember all the great Vols games, the win over Miami in New Orleans is my favorite--still have the tape!
writer#358485 writes:
Yep, good games, all. I guess what I liked so much about the Sugar Bowl is all the media expected Miami to win 35-7, not the other way around. I love it when they get egg on their face, especially ESPN. When I watch ESPN broadcasts, I just turn the sound off and watch the game. I gave up journalism 30 years ago when journalists started becoming "stars" and began inserting their opinion instead of reporting facts and letting the people make up their own minds. As though an actor from Hollywood or a TV talking head, or a newspaper reporter/editor (I was both back then) had anything to say anyone should want to hear. The media drives culture now and is driving it right into the ground, after they get past the gutter!
writer#358485 writes:
I also have been trying to remember to get a prescription!
jone8191#247590 writes:
John,
One of your funniest yet.
Made me laugh out loud.
Thanks for starting my Xmas with a laugh!!!!
writer#358485 writes:
Yes, that was a great win, Rich! There will be more, looking forward to it. Go Vols.
writer#358485 writes:
If I recall correctly (always a big if) Tennessee is the only major college team ever to go unbeaten, untied and unscored-upon through a regular season. (Of course, there was a bowl game after that that we won't mention):-)
MillisaAnn writes:
Merry Christmas!!! Jesus Is The Reason For The Season.
abnermc writes:
The only way to get people to read his article is to tease of his firing.
jabark82 writes:
Love it John! Keep 'em coming!
writer#358485 writes:
Amen! Merry Christmas to you.
cjraney writes:
Fulmer was fired for poor performance on the field. Adams suggested he should be fired for many other reasons which were baseless IMO.
To say "Adams was right" b/c Fulmer got fired shows a severe lack of reading comprehension. Or perhaps that one simply read the headline and skipped the rest of "the article."
It was time for a change b/c the Vols have performed badly of late, not for any other BS reasons.
murrayvol writes:
Many things may happen in 09'. Playing The Masters in May isn't among them.
murrayvol writes:
Can't imagine!
murrayvol writes:
Per your screen name, you need to be a little more forgiving of the shortcomings of those about you LiveFaith.
murrayvol writes:
Have you seen a picture of Ms. Miller? Trust me when I say she is no joke.
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