AP Top 25 College Football
MEMPHIS — I had the flu.
Also, I was in a hurry.
Also, I was distracted by the pending arrival of the Dalai Lama.
Also, the constant rain has me in a funk.
Also, my computer had a virus.
So, yes, it's true that I went 1-5 against the spread last week but I have an excuse.
Of course I do. Who doesn't have an excuse these days?
Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin had an excuse for shooting off his mouth about Florida.
Florida coach Urban Meyer -- not to be outdone -- came back with two excuses for looking less than dazzling in beating Tennessee.
Meyer said his guys were sick with the flu. He said Tennessee wasn't even trying to win.
Also, Smokey ate his game plan.
And the team bus ran out of gas on the way to the game.
And he had a toothache.
And how is a person possibly supposed to think straight when it's that loud in The Swamp?
And the women are distracting.
And the sun got in his eyes.
And Tim Tebow ate a Twinkie immediately before that last fumble.
And the receivers were away on jury duty.
And a snowplow got stuck right in front of the team driveway as it was about to leave for the game.
And anyone else think Meyer somehow made Kiffin look like the mature one in all this?
Of course, it could have been just a bad day for Meyer. Maybe he had a headache. Or he had Plaxico Burress on his fantasy team. Or -- anyway, the picks ...
Marshall at Memphis
The Tigers just started the wrong quarterback, see? That's it. The wrong quarterback.
The pick: Memphis 27, Marshall 17.
Ohio at Tennessee
How is Kiffin supposed to win with Jonathan Crompton as his starter? And is there any way Kiffin would keep playing the guy if he didn't need such an ironclad excuse?
The pick: Tennessee 27, Ohio 10.
Vanderbilt at Rice
The Vanderbilt receivers couldn't concentrate against Mississippi State because they trying to determine all of the angles of an isosceles triangle, using cosine law, where the two sides are 5 centimeters and the base is 8.
The pick: Vanderbilt 24, Rice 13.
Arkansas at Alabama
What do you expect in Bobby Petrino's second year? An offense and a defense?
The pick: Alabama 38, Arkansas 23.
LSU at Mississippi State
What do you expect in Dan Mullen's first year? A defense and an offense?
The pick: LSU 24, Mississippi State 9
Florida at Kentucky
Meyer would like you to know that his Florida team did not blow out Tennessee because it was looking ahead to Kentucky. While battling a cold and caught in a traffic jam amidst terrifying straight-line winds.
The pick: Florida 37, Kentucky 10.
California at Oregon
Cal running back Jahvid Best -- averaging nearly 8 yards a carry -- needs no excuses for his year.
The pick: California 30, Oregon 23.
Titans at Jets
As part of its annual Halloween Haunt Show, King's Island Amusement Park in Ohio set up a display that included a skeleton wearing Steve McNair's No. 9 jersey and holding a Titans helmet with the top part of the helmet blown off. Another skeleton was decked out in red negligee and draped across the first skeleton's lap.
In response to public fury, the amusement park removed the display. But can we at least agree there are some things for which there is no excuse?
The pick: Titans 20, Jets 17.
Last week: Straight up, 5-3. Against-the-spread, 1-5, two games had no line.
Year to date: Straight up, 17-6. Against-the-spread, 6-11 (six games had no line).
To reach Geoff Calkins, call 901-529-2364 or e-mail calkins@commercialappeal.com.
Tennessee's signing class for 2012
Tennessee defeats Georgia 3-2 in…
Softball: Tennessee 2, Georgia 1
Scripps Interactive Newspapers Group
Comments » 66
Vay_Owe_Ale_Ace writes:
Ouch. Ironclad excuse.
allvolinatlanta writes:
When your 1-5 you need lots of excuses. Call UM for some tips!
givehim6 writes:
The Meyer jokes were a bit amusing, but the McNair jokes were of bad taste bud.
jwill33 writes:
Thanks for wasting a couple of minutes of my life that I will never get back. That was the dumbest article that I have ever read. I am tired of hearing about our "moral" victory too. The defense played great! And we ran the ball great too. Couldn't throw for obvious reasons and if we could I think we would have won but we didn't and its over. Can't these guys find something else to write about?? I haven't posted on here very often but, have these articles always been this bad?
panties4tebow writes:
You forgot to mention one more reason why PEE WEE meyer and all the pantie fans didn't get the blowout they had been promising for months.
The gators had to play in soiled panties because they had forgot to wash them from the previous game or was it planned in hopes of keeping the Full Monte defense at a distance.......Tennessee players were laughing how badly the fl players smelled.......LOL
the_1_don#407478 writes:
This a sorry excuse for an article! You think the KNS paid for this dribble?
CoverOrange writes:
That is why King's Island removed the display. They also removed skeleton displays of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon.
ChattaVol1 writes:
I agree 100%!!!!!!!
QB_10 (Inactive) writes:
Poop is Poop and Crapton is Poop
How is Kiffin supposed to win with Jonathan Crompton as his starter? And is there any way Kiffin would keep playing the guy if he didn't need such an ironclad excuse?
RHJ1203 writes:
Tennessee will score 27 points? Don't see that happening unless Manning comes back to quarterback.
jcorange98 writes:
Boo Jackson is out. Kiffin keeps foot on gas. UT 52 Ohio 3
tennrich1 writes:
This guy doesnt write about sports....he thinks he's Dave Berry.....this is the very best Memphis has to offer...i assure you...
VolFaninTriCities writes:
The Whine Flu? Wow. I am speechless. I think this attempt at a joke is why Geoff Calkins thinks he is funny and puts out articles like the one above. Good try though.
steelersman42 writes:
it wasn't a joke. they actually did that.
jimr07 writes:
Caulkins...where did you coach. another lousy effort by a frustrared sports writer.
topgun writes:
The 25 Sep 09 issue of "The Tennessean" has an article entitled "Kiffin, Meyer told to cool it by SEC." It goes on to say that Slive has once again spoken to Kiffin and meyer about public comments, etc.
Is this old news?? Maybe I missed it when KNS published it. GO VOLS!!
TommyJack writes:
Calkins must have been running late for his pedicure appt. when he wrote this one.
gotvols writes:
All I can say is if Kiffen was just trying to shorten the game and keep it close..... Meyer had better be glad Kiffen wasn't trying to win.
If Kiffen could be successful in doing that, he could have easily won the game.....
Razzle writes:
Still whining? More of a moral loss for Tenn. Kind of like the moral loss Florida had last week but not as bad. Florida was a 30 point favorite (60 some places) and only won by 10.
Cldvols1 writes:
Not much of an article but better than JA's. The Vols need a confidence builder for next weeks game and the rest of the season. I think they get it with a much needed victory!
UT 34
Ohio 13
CRFVols writes:
Wow....these articles are getting more and more worthless by the day.
kiffownsfla writes:
Without a DOUBT one of the STUPIDEST articles EVER AT GVX!
RockyTop10nessee writes:
No lie...I live in Memphis and i read geoof's article every morning. This guy in my opinon is the worst writer I have read...yeas worse then john peenignton and john adams....this is the first article I have read from mr. Calkins that actually doesn't knock on Lane Kiffin. He HATES Kiffin and everybody knows....Don't get why he decided to change his article to be nice...
seventysevenvol writes:
Geoff and the rest of my Vol Nation...the Florida game is OVER! Now, let's follow in stride and get over it too. Ohio is on the radar. Get your heads out of your _ _ _ _ s, focus on drubbing a team on par with WKU and quit complaining about Meyer and feeling good about an "L". Geez...
TommyJack writes:
We didn't expect you to hang around here for 18/7 either.
FireJohnAdams writes:
It had to have taken every bit of 3 minutes to write, including 1 minute to make the "picks".
CRFVols writes:
Will you idiots shut-up about Kiffin? He hasn't even been at the school a full year...and only coached in 3 college games. If you are passing judgement on Kiffin already then it proves you don't know much about football and probably never played. And I'm sure none of you could do a better job, much less share the same field as him.
I'm not saying I like or don't like him....I've disagreed with some things....but as I stated before....he hasn't had time to prove anything. So put your "better than thou" attitudes on a shelf and watch some dang football. Two years from now you can better criticize and actually be able to back it up with facts if he isn't doing any good. Until then....get over it.
UTfansRnuts writes:
(This comment was removed by the site staff.)
the_1_don#407478 writes:
Dude--It's the 5th best defense in the nation! What's your point?
Vol_in_Mich writes:
Whew, I thought they had Bo Jackson. But how was I to know, there has not been one bit of info on Ohio on here. We have a game day after tomorrow and it's not with Florida.
I can see the headline now "Bobcats & Wildcats win in major upsets because Urban & Kiff spent all week jawing at each other instead of preparing for so called cupcake games.
GO VOLS!!!
the_1_don#407478 writes:
NEWS VOLS ATTITUDE! I LOVE IT! GO VOLS!
GreeneCountyVol writes:
It's time to jettison Memphis from the Great State of Tennessee. The people there have no clue when it comes to pigskin games. The only thing Memphis has going for it is ducks, barbecue, blues and Elvis. Why not change the name to North Tupelo, MS?
CUSA_NEWS writes:
Volsxtra sure likes to post many Memphis CA articles from CA writers... in Memphis.
Anywho, with UT football sucking many of you bball fans who pointed to football as a means to down Memphis may want to work on that egg before it dries up...
:-)
troken writes:
I bet McNairs family would love to read this article.......... Funny, except for that...
volswithclass writes:
Who won the game last week? Enough Said. Quit talking about it. Bottom line Tennessee is 1-2 and cannot score.
givehim6 writes:
That is sad you should never poke fun at someone getting killed, total disrespect to the McNair family given the situation.
chargervol writes:
The gators are still waiting for you to get off your knees!LOL! I guess you like M oral victories! GO VOLS!!!
dynasty101 writes:
What a broken record-nothing new poping up?
VolunteerLifer writes:
Calkins writes:
"How is Kiffin supposed to win with Jonathan Crompton as his starter? And is there any way Kiffin would keep playing the guy if he didn't need such an ironclad excuse?"
Jeoff Calkins Ironclad Excuses:
Don't blame me, I went to journalism school.
I was playing tennis when all the other students were studying for their finals.
They teach you how to sort-of write in journalism classes, but they don't teach you how to think.
They try to teach you to think in journalism school, but somehow it just didn't take with me
After the junior year in journalism college, they take the marginal ones like me and give them classes in how to be a sportswriter instead of a real journalist.
My dog ate my real column I was supposed to publish today.
As a journalist, I have journalistic license. For example, I can ignore that CLK said nothing after the fla game until meyer popped off about Kiffin for supposedly running out the clock and not trying to win. Despite that I know that fact, I have license to pretend I don't and go ahead and write: "Tennessee coach Lane Kiffin had an excuse for shooting his mouth off about Florida."
Since graduating from college, I have yet to show that I can be a sportswriter in a town where they have a real football team, instead I write for a paper in a backwater sports town, so I have to write about real teams from such a far distance that it causes me to get everything about them wrong.
I interviewed once with a real newspaper, which has a real sportswriting department, but they said I wasn't exactly what they were looking for, but they wished me well writing about Memphis State. They said they thought I was perfect for that job.
volboy81 writes:
...I thought this one was much better than anything else Ive seen him write!! :) (of course, he is from the capitol of Mississippi, so not much is expected.)
GreeneVol writes:
Ya'll are tough! I got a chuckle out of it; maybe some should lighten up. It may be older than the hills for some that do nothing but obsess on here all week, but for the average Joe in Memphis area, this is an entertaining article. Try this: remember the world does not revolve around govolsxtra.
jimr07 writes:
tj, you should know. is caulkins the fashion editor or the food columnist?
EPK writes:
Gators beat UT Saturday. Would have done so even if you did have a passing game. Your boys over-achieved and still came up short. And next year you won't have Berry -- who is 3/4 of your D. Next year, you'll also have a rookie QB and he/she will be about as useful as Crompton. Will hate to see him go.
You have a coach who is a moron. Cannot coach, except to rally the boys when they're 30 humiliating point underdogs. Had as many NFL wins as the current SEC headcoaches have national championships. Ouch.
You know, as I think about it, the Vols are a lot like the stock market -- surely better than last year, but no where near the glory they once knew.
Razzle writes:
LMAO! Way to pwn the gaytard B.Bob.
illinoisvolfan writes:
Cool, now there's another word I can spell using the letters FU. Or UF, whatever.
Lostvolinhighweeds writes:
Thanks for your input.
I will give it all the consideration it deserves.
Lostvolinhighweeds writes:
Thanks for your input.
I will give it all the consideration it deserves.
If you torture the numbers long enough they will admit to anything.
RealisticVol writes:
Boy all that pre-game gator barking didn't have much bite did it. And yet they are still barking. Of course we don't like to lose but if they humbled us so much, why are they doing all the whining about the flu and Kiffin's game plan? Take away the scores off mistakes on both sides and it really is a low offense game on both sides. All that Vol yardage at the end of the game looks even more worrisome to the almighty gators and and that surface tension of the water looks even weaker to the holy Urban Meyer. Better be careful one of those drops of sweat might break it. Oh and by the way for a bunch that said they were going to pore it on and teach Kiffin a lesson, do you really think we believe the mighty gators all of a sudden said we can ease up because Kiffin is not trying. LOL LOL LOL The world and, more importantly, those 35 recruits Urban had at the game to impress with the slaughter are not that stupid!
PoochPuntOn3rdDown writes:
Off topic, but check out this local band. They came to rock!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gbxC_...
VolunteerLifer writes:
Calkins - you say you lost to the spread five times last week. Tell me - was the Tennessee game one of those?
I guess I could look it up, but I'm a journalist and you see I'm just too lazy to actually do some research work. I could go get my copy of last week's CA, but I used it to line the cat box.
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